


The Easy Path

by still_lycoris



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Considered Infidelity, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 09:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_lycoris/pseuds/still_lycoris
Summary: It took Soichiro a while to realise that Matsuda was in love with him.





	The Easy Path

It took time for Soichiro to realise that Matsuda was in love with him.

It ought to have been obvious from the start, only it wasn’t. You don’t expect your twenty-years-younger than you subordinate junior to fall in love with you. Not if you are Soichiro Yagami and certainly not if your subordinate is a man.

And if he _had_ noticed, seen the signs, he could have headed it off, he knew it. There are ways of keeping hero worship as hero worship, ways of gently turning overenthusiastic puppy crushing away without causing pain. But Soichiro didn’t do any of them and one day, it suddenly hit him that the beaming smile Matsuda always gave him was filled with more than his usual excitement and that any order he gave would be instantly obeyed because Matsuda thought he was wonderful and wanted to please him more than anything.

Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered so much if things hadn’t been so rough at home. Light and Sayu were both going through phases, kept fighting with each other and Sachiko was feeling the pressure of his hours which meant that they kept arguing too. It was easier to be away from them and the atmosphere of strife but also not helping. He knew that he needed to put more effort in but he was tired and it was hard and ... Matsuda was easy.

It was shaming to think, but true. Matsuda with his big eyes and whose obvious devotion was an ego boost. Even if he was a man, even if Soichiro never ever would ... would he? No, of course not. It was just nice to have someone to idolise you. Any man would feel the same. Yes, perhaps he ought to stop it, remind Matsuda that it was inappropriate but it wasn’t harming anyone. Not as such.

It suddenly hit him one evening when they were alone in the office and Matsuda bought him coffee made just the way he liked it. Soichiro smiled, said _well done_ and Matsuda beamed and asked if Soichiro needed anything else, anything at all ...

It would have been so easy. So easy to move it on. To kiss Matsuda and Matsuda would love it, be excited, kiss back. He’d do anything Soichiro wanted and he’d never question it. Never ask Soichiro for anything more than he was willing to give, never demand anything except affection, probably only a little of that and he’d never suggest Soichiro should leave his wife because he’d never expect it. 

The thought was shaming. He should have stopped his a long time ago. Should have done better before because _Matsuda_ deserved better than putting all his hopes on someone who could never give him anything back.

So he shook his head and told Matsuda to get on home, did not let himself be swayed by the slightly disappointed look on Matsuda's face. It was hard. He couldn’t deny it. 

But he’d never been a man who picked the easy path.


End file.
